my mind has been pre-occupied lately with thoughts of the end times. i believe that we will live through The Great Tribulation before the return of Christ. i believe that these times will be both great and terrible, with the Church rising up in unity, with miracles becoming more and more the norm, and many of us choosing Jesus over our literal lives. all of this has inspired fear in my heart. upon reflection, i don't want there to be an ounce of fear in my heart when i think about the road ahead. i don't want to have a heart full of offense at the Lord for allowing the deaths of His chosen ones. i want to cultivate an unoffended heart here and now, before it all comes down. this requires a few things to prepare my heart.
first, i need to know more about what is to come. i'm gathering information (much of which i'm getting from mike bickle) and studying up on Revelation and Matthew 24. Jesus doesn't leave us without knowledge or ways in which to prepare ourselves for the coming tribulation. He very much prepares us through these readings, in particular, and other portions of Scripture. the more i understand, the more i can come to understand that the Lord HAS to send forth His righteous judgments onto the earth. He is a Holy God. He must judge against the nations and the powers of darkness. this is just as much who He is as He is loving and kind to those who fear Him.
secondly, i need to work at these little offenses that live in my heart. i need to repent for the offenses when they rise up and ask the Lord to give me faith to trust Him - to take Him at His word. when offenses rise, i have to forgive and trust that He does actually know what He's doing. after all, who am i, the created, to say to the Creator, "You don't really do a good job at what you do."??
so i bring my little heart before Him, once again, asking Him to remove any seed of offense, believing and begging Him to help my unbelief. i don't want my heart to be offended when i see the death of the innocent, or the destruction of those i love. i want to stand firm on the Rock of my salvation and say with great conviction, "You are good, and Your mercy endures forever."
in other news, i've moved back in with the 'rents in southfield. i've been able to rent out my bedroom (to another believer!) and am working to get the upstairs bedrooms rented out, too. the goal is to make enough from the renters to cover the monthly mortgage and utilities. then i can throw all the money i make from working at my debt. i could have it all paid off in about 15 months, possibly less. as of now, the ultimate goal is to be debt free and have about $10,000 in savings before moving to kansas city sometime in my 30th year. i keep telling myself that i want a missouri license plate for either my 30th or 31st birthday. :) if i go in my 30th year, it will have been a dream held in my heart for 10 years finally coming true. i believe this is the direction the Lord desires for me... and it excites my heart as i wait to see how He will continue to show Himself faithful and strong!
